DAY 6. ALC10. Letter to Zoe.

Dear Zoe,

I joined 3,000 people tonight on Ventura Beach for a candle light vigil in memory of people who have died from HIV/AIDS. A silent procession from the dining tent to the sandy dunes. An overcast, starless night and the sound of waves crashing upon the shore. 3,000 candles held by 3,000 souls. A circle of people the size of a football field. Candles lighting up faces in quiet contemplation.

You are 12 years old now Zoe. You’re a smart kid and I know you understand, on one level, why I spent months training, long weekend days away from you to ride my bike—even left you stranded for a few hours one day, locked out of the house waiting for me to come back from a ride! I know you understand why I rallied 100 people to contribute nearly $6,000 and why I spent a week on a bicycle, sleeping on the ground, lugging my suitcase from the gear truck every evening after riding a hundred miles, setting up my tent, and getting up a 5am the next morning for the privilege to do it all again. I know you understand that this effort is for a good cause, that it’s for people who need help.

But I want you to understand something very specific about what I have witnessed this week: big problems in our world are only solved by people taking big actions. Real change only happens when real people make it happen. Zoe, if something is not right in your world, it will be up to you to change it. Complaining means nothing. (It is true that this week I have complained about the coffee. So either I get Peet’s to sponsor ALC, I bring my own French press next time, or I simply shut up and drink the brown water…)

And there are big problems in this world that need to be solved. Hatred and disease are at the top of the list, and the gay community has suffered more than its fair share of both. And I want you to understand that there are two behaviors at the root of these big problems: ignorance and selfishness.

The problem of ignorance is solved by informing people, teaching people, speaking out truths against lies. The AIDS LifeCycle Ride is a traveling information center bringing the truth about HIV/AIDS to small towns down the coast of California. Someone once told me “an enemy is someone who’s story you don’t know.” When you know a person for who they are, when you see them for the human being that they really are, it’s hard to hate them. You may not agree with them or their choices, but you honor their humanity. It’s natural. This ride is so much more than a fundraiser. They say the little town of Bradley that hosts the bar-b-cue fits the bill of a typical red-neck, conservative central valley town. But because the children of Bradley have grown up helping support the AIDS Ride each year on the day the ride comes through, they will never grow up to hate gay people. These are the kids who formed a high-five welcome line as we rode into to town.

There are 500 volunteer roadies who also have to each raise a minimum of $3,000 just to pick up garbage, or drive a truck, or work in the medical tent, or serve food. 2,500 riders and 500 roadies all working harder than I have ever seen a group of people work each day.  And everyone lives, this week, with an incredible spirit of generosity. Strangers stopping to help each other on the side of the road if someone has a flat tire. Patience and friendliness while waiting in long lines for dinner or to use the bathrooms or showers after a long and tiring day. Any everyone not only paid for the privilege, but they raised money too. No selfishness here.  It’s a gift culture. And as Tyler said a number of times, “it’s how the world should work.” Selfishness keeps people disconnected. Generosity connects people. And the world works better when we’re connected. The world works better when we’re generous.

And as I sat on the beach tonight, surrounded by candlelight and silence, I thought about you Zoe, and about the complicated world that you’re growing up in. And my hope is that you’ll have people like the people on this ride to work with you, to inspire you, to connect with you as you shape the world into the place that you want it to be; As you hold world in your own hands and make a difference.

Gotta go to sleep now. Tomorrow we ride to the finish line in L.A.!
Miss you and see you soon.

Good night.