Ready To Ride

Last July my wife Dena and I decided to separate after 12 years of marriage.

It seemed like a good time to dust off the 1960’s vintage Bianchi road-bike my friend Jeremiah had given me a few years earlier. I started riding the hills of Berkeley and the valleys of the East Bay. To clear my mind. To strengthen my body.  Long rides calm the mind and I quickly found that endorphins help create a positive outlook when facing uncertainty.

1960's Italian Steel Frame Bianchi

I began riding with my friend Sarana who has a passion for cycling. Soon she invited me to ride with her in the AIDS Life/Cycle ride. 545 miles from San Francisco to Los Angeles in June to raise money to help end AIDS. She’d done the ride twice before and spoke of its power both as a practice in service of an important cause and as inspiration for what community can accomplish when people truly come together. My friend Tyler also did the ride and spoke of it in the same way. “It changed my life,” he said.

I don’t know that I wanted to change my life, but since my life was changing regardless of what I wanted it seemed like a good idea to take on a project that would help focus my mind on something other that myself and provide me with a physical challenge.

So I signed up.

I pledged to raise $5000 for the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and began a riding and running regimen that has put me in better shape–at the choice age of 43–than I have ever been in my life.

The theatre community has been hit particularly hard by HIV since the disease was first recognized 30 years ago. I’m riding for everyone we’ve lost and for all those living with courage, day by day, facing the challenge of this vicious disease.

This BLOG is a notebook of STORIES and REFLECTIONS about the Training and the Ride. It is inspired by the truth that we all face uncertainty in our lives.  The harshness of the modern world feels particularly jagged at the moment. Events beyond our control can interrupt our assured sense of self in an instant. Earthquake and nuclear catastrophe in Japan; revolution in the Middle East; diagnosis of a cancer or AIDS; sudden death of a family member; loss of a job or a home; even a tempestuous, hormonal adolescent can test our very mettle (note the parent writing here…).

And yet hope and inspiration are ever at our fingertips. People are doing amazing things for each other in this magnificent world.

As I ride my bike I sit perched between the wheels of Fear and Hope. I know I am not alone. The truth is that this life is full of both profound challenges and breathtaking beauty and grace. How do we make room for both and not go crazy?